There are days, like today, where I feel like an outsider in my life. I have a wonderful Dragon that I feel completely at home with yet around everyone else I feel like I just don’t belong.
People make plans and they tell me about them afterwards. People tend to befriend me and pull away after I give all that I am around them. People tend to shy away from me.
I feel that I am not of this plane and that I “weird” people out some times. I just don’t understand it at all. Frankly it has become even more apparent and happens more often than it used to.
Maybe I am growing into my otherness. I just wish that I knew why this keeps happening.
I went home this weekend. Home is Asheville, NC. It is where I was born and my soul lies in the mountains I grew up hiking in.
It is always bittersweet when I have to leave there. I feel as if I never get to spend enough time there. Always wanted to do more and see more people. I feel I don’t get to see my dad enough or my grandmother.
I want to hike and play in the woods and water the next time I am home. I think that I am going to make this a requirement. I need to be in the cold water and baptize myself in the feeling of home and magic.
I have been feeling the need to make things with my hand. Welding, book making, baking, wood working, pottery, something.
I feel that I need to make a Day of the Dead altar for Euphoria (A local burn). I feel that it just needs to be done. A place to honor all those we have lost. I will look at ideas tomorrow and try to come up with some things.
Today the weather has been amazing and a let down. Sadly 60 in May is not what I wanted to wake up to today. Tomorrow should be better. 86 degrees and sunny. There may even be a trip to the river involved.
The river. A place to wash away your past and renew your look on life.
I am doing my best to write more. This should be a place for my brain dumps and other ideas. I have stories to tell and rituals to describe. Hopefully, this will become a wonderful place. If not, I am truly sorry.
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You are at the neighborhood garage sale, looking for nothing in particular. Something inside an old, wooden box catches your eye. The old woman who is running the sale comes over to say something about the object. What is it? What did she say and why?